Thís is only going to be a short story.!!
I have been thinking: people in New Zealand ALL want tans and probably people in many other countries as well, but HERE everybody LOATHES the sun for fear of having... A TAN!! *dum dum duuuuuuuuuuum!!* This is because having a tan makes them look like hard-working farmers instead of wealthy and educated people. Yesterday we saw someone wearing a SWEATER!! and under that was a SHIRT!!!! and get this, it was at the beach!!!. When we asked her why she said: I don't want my skin to get darker!! Crazy eh?
here's the story!
Once upon time, there lived a wealthy millionare who loved having a tan so much, he bought 1,000,000 tanning booths. The next major problem was shipping them from his home to Asia. Eventually (at considerable cost) he paid a shipping company to send them. He then paid for his flight there by buying a private jet and fuel (he was 3 million dollars in debt by now).. When he landed he got out, ordered a taxi to drive him down to the shipping docks. When he got there he found out there was a bit of a problem. For a room 4 metres by 6 metres by 6 metres ,the booths wern't even close to fitting in.
So the booths were all piled on top of the small building because other wise they would flood the street. The rich man , (his name was Mr. Dunce), had to order a crane to get them all down (by this time he was 30 million dollars in debt and counting).Unfortunately, it was busy for the day but the crane driver said he could come tommorow.
Mr. Dunce found a hotel just across the street. As fate would have it, he had a room with an actual window (the only one in the hotel) so he could see everyone gathered around the shipping company with their cameras ready and disposable raincoats on because they knew something that Mr. Dunce didn't: There was meant to be a terrible storm with heavy rain and lot's of lightning. Mr. Dunce (being Mr. Dunce) slept through the whole ordeal.
The next morning he still couldn't understand why the whole shipping company building was charred from the lightning that had hit the huge lightning rod on the roof ( his tanning booths) and why was there was so much ash on the ground?He soon figured out something,, all his tanning machines were gone. As a small, burnt piece of paper flew by, he caught it. It read: Sunny-chine MK III : (that was the brand name of his tanning machines) Use this tanning booth sensibly AND if you get cancer it's NOT our fault! He crumpled the paper and threw it away then said: "I wish I could read!" Now where have those tanning booths gone?
He searched far and wide but only managed to find one that had been piled up on the roof. This was the only one that hadn't been destroyed from the massive electricity spike. He took it out on the streets, hailed a taxi and went straight to the bank, where he asked to loan some MORE money. They declined saying he would have to pay off his 70.5 million dollar debt and find something DECENT to invest in, to loan any more money.
So he went out on the street and there were no hotels around (even if there were, he still had no money!). He opened the sun tanning machine packet and tried sleeping in the cardboard box but then it started raining...... Inside the sun tanning machine however, it was dry and warm (he accidentaly turned it on but he didn't have to plug it in, because the lightning had put enough energy into the batteries to last 7 weeks so he slept inside the booth.
The next morning he was very sick with cancer but couldn't afford to go to hospital as he was dying. His dying wish was to sell the tanning machine. Finaly, a rich man felt sorry for him and bought the tanning booth. The man could then afford to go to hospital. ,Crawling, he went to the hospital, scared for his life. They told him he would die eventually.
NOW,whenever he has a good idea, he emails his mother first and waits for the response .This is usually filled with swearing and abuse.
That is the sad story of the man who tried exporting artifical tanning machines to Asia!*
*note: this story was meant to be a fictional comedy, no characters of this story actualy exist.
The moral: artifical tanning gives you cancer and there's not much you can do about it once you've got it! Mr Dunce didn't make any more foolish investments ( As he died shortly after this fictional story was written).
-the fabulous story teller
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